She tried to kill me...

Her name is Nastassia. This morning she tried to kill me.

Being the adventurous soul I am, I decided to try a new class at the gym this morning. Cardio Kickboxing was the class. I have taken other classes where there were some kickboxing moves involved. They were fun, I thought that fun might carry over into this class. Wrong. The first time I looked at the clock so see how much longer I had to keep going 5 minutes had passed. I had 55 more to go! I could tell already, this was going to be ugly.

So I got the hang of the moves pretty well. No crazy step aerobics choreography here, just some imaginary jump ropes, jabs, upper cuts, kicks, shuffle left, shuffle right, squat, squat, squat, squat. Then it all gets blended together...shuffle left, kick, squat, kick, squat, jab, jab, strike...shuffle right...repeat. After we've done that maneuver 16 or so times (enough to make me feel light-headed and like my muscles are ripping) Nastassia screams "Jack it out!"

"What?"
For those of you new to this lingo, like me, I will translate. Apparently "Jack it out!" roughly translates to "This is your time in class to rest and get your breath back" "So I want you to do jumping jacks until your calves explode." "Now, JACK IT OUT!"

This process goes on for 1 hour. A very long hour. There was much more kicking, jabbing, squatting, touching the floor, shuffling and "Jacking it out!" but things started to get blurry after a while. So Nastassia became my focal point. This woman talked the whole time. She was NOT out of breath. How is that humanly possible? Obviously she teaches this class on a regular basis (I could tell by looking at her ass. Nice ass.) and she is a personal trainer, but come on! Even the workout crazy guy beside me who is at the gym ALL the time (I call him "Warren") had to stop and take a break occasionally.

Well, I made it through the class. I didn't puke, although it crossed my mind afterwards in the locker room. My legs are wobbly and I probably won't be able to walk tomorrow, but I did it! I haven't decided if I'll try that class again. It depends on how long it takes my body and my ego to heal. I'll keep you posted.